The Gypsy Bohemian

Here is my Bohemian persona: the Gypsy!

By Laren Stover, excerpt from “The Bohemian Manifesto”

These are the expatriate types. They create their own Gypsy nirvana wherever they go. They are folksy flower children, hippies, psychedelic travelers, fairy folk, dreamers, Deadheads, Phish fans, medievalists, anachronistic throwbacks to a more romantic time. They may listen to Joan Baez, Marianne Faithfull, early Bob Dylan, Joni Mitchell, and Captain Beefheart but more than likely they make their own music, even if it’s playing the spoons.

Gypsies scatter like seeds on the wind, don’t own a watch, show up on your doorstep and disappear into the night. They’re happy to sleep in your barn and may have without you even knowing it. They are comfortable living out of cars and vans and are nondigital. The only time line they can rely on is the one on your palm, which they will undoubtedly read, either that or they’ll cast your chart, tell your fortune, or do your numbers. Gypsies like jobs that they can pack up in a bag, or not pack at all. They are painters (canvases and houses), muralists (the ones with a baby strapped to them while they paint), sign painters for small establishments, dancers, singers, actors, and musicians. Other Gypsy jobs include juggling, carpentry, leather tooling, jewelry making, and midwifery.

Gypsies also give lessons: music, singing, dance, especially tango and belly dancing, painting, sculpting, welding, language, horseback riding, fencing, and stage combat. When they set their mind to it they get extra work in films and an occasional theatre piece. They play Gypsy, tango, chamber, and medieval and Celtic music for parties and weddings, and of course they play on the street.

They know a little about a lot of things, like how to milk a goat and what to feed a wild abandoned baby animal, how to fix a carnival ride, make candles and soap.

It is not wise to play cards with them.

Gypsies wear the traditional clothing of their native country when it’s considered quaint and out of style and embrace their lost heritages. They will also embrace a new heritage. They costume themselves after lost cultures and forgotten times. They practice crafts on the verge of extinction: stone carving and masonry, glass-blowing, papermaking, paper marbling, stained glass, frescoes and encaustic. They hand make their own violins, mandolins, and dulcimers. They love pocket instruments and play the pennywhistle, recorder, Jew’s harp, and kazoo. The largest thing they own, besides their vehicle, may be a harp or potter’s wheel. They’d rather tell stories than read them.

Their books will be Beowulf, The Tales of Genji, Grimms’ fairy tales, Dracula, poetry by Robert Burns and Sir Walter Scott, The Sibyl by Pär Lagerkvist, Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis, biographies of Augustus John and small leather-bound books with faded covers and crumbling tea-colored pages that are at least a hundred years old. Never magazines or newspapers, except for the classifieds.

They make wind chimes out of old silverware or broken pottery. Mix their own essential oils, grow their own herbs, embroider their clothing, crochet their own clothing, build little houses in old tree stumps for elves. They may even decide to settle down later in life and form a commune with other like-minded Bohemians. Here they will keep goats and sheep and make yogurt and cheese. They will keep bees and sell honey. Their children will be tutored at home and on the road and run around naked and free. Good luck trying to figure out the family tree.