The Gypsy Bohemian

Here is my Bohemian persona: the Gypsy!

By Laren Stover, excerpt from “The Bohemian Manifesto”

These are the expatriate types. They create their own Gypsy nirvana wherever they go. They are folksy flower children, hippies, psychedelic travelers, fairy folk, dreamers, Deadheads, Phish fans, medievalists, anachronistic throwbacks to a more romantic time. They may listen to Joan Baez, Marianne Faithfull, early Bob Dylan, Joni Mitchell, and Captain Beefheart but more than likely they make their own music, even if it’s playing the spoons.

Gypsies scatter like seeds on the wind, don’t own a watch, show up on your doorstep and disappear into the night. They’re happy to sleep in your barn and may have without you even knowing it. They are comfortable living out of cars and vans and are nondigital. The only time line they can rely on is the one on your palm, which they will undoubtedly read, either that or they’ll cast your chart, tell your fortune, or do your numbers. Gypsies like jobs that they can pack up in a bag, or not pack at all. They are painters (canvases and houses), muralists (the ones with a baby strapped to them while they paint), sign painters for small establishments, dancers, singers, actors, and musicians. Other Gypsy jobs include juggling, carpentry, leather tooling, jewelry making, and midwifery.

Gypsies also give lessons: music, singing, dance, especially tango and belly dancing, painting, sculpting, welding, language, horseback riding, fencing, and stage combat. When they set their mind to it they get extra work in films and an occasional theatre piece. They play Gypsy, tango, chamber, and medieval and Celtic music for parties and weddings, and of course they play on the street.

They know a little about a lot of things, like how to milk a goat and what to feed a wild abandoned baby animal, how to fix a carnival ride, make candles and soap.

It is not wise to play cards with them.

Gypsies wear the traditional clothing of their native country when it’s considered quaint and out of style and embrace their lost heritages. They will also embrace a new heritage. They costume themselves after lost cultures and forgotten times. They practice crafts on the verge of extinction: stone carving and masonry, glass-blowing, papermaking, paper marbling, stained glass, frescoes and encaustic. They hand make their own violins, mandolins, and dulcimers. They love pocket instruments and play the pennywhistle, recorder, Jew’s harp, and kazoo. The largest thing they own, besides their vehicle, may be a harp or potter’s wheel. They’d rather tell stories than read them.

Their books will be Beowulf, The Tales of Genji, Grimms’ fairy tales, Dracula, poetry by Robert Burns and Sir Walter Scott, The Sibyl by Pär Lagerkvist, Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis, biographies of Augustus John and small leather-bound books with faded covers and crumbling tea-colored pages that are at least a hundred years old. Never magazines or newspapers, except for the classifieds.

They make wind chimes out of old silverware or broken pottery. Mix their own essential oils, grow their own herbs, embroider their clothing, crochet their own clothing, build little houses in old tree stumps for elves. They may even decide to settle down later in life and form a commune with other like-minded Bohemians. Here they will keep goats and sheep and make yogurt and cheese. They will keep bees and sell honey. Their children will be tutored at home and on the road and run around naked and free. Good luck trying to figure out the family tree.

Artist Profile: Bright Eyes

Such a lovely song. And an even lovelier music video.

Religion, Easter, and Spirituality: Some Kind of Treatise

I am so tired of religion. And especially religious hypocrites. So. Fucking. Tired.

It’s quite insightful that the next chapter that is the endless saga of the Catholic priest abuse scandal broke just before Holy Week. Juxtaposed is the selfless, sacrificial love of Jesus and the selfish and self-righteous attitudes of some priests pretending to follow in His footsteps.

Personally, I have come a long way from the religious atmosphere I was exposed to as a child and what I experienced throughout my teens and early twenties.

Mainly, I was influenced by a fundamentalist/evangelical Protestant non-denominational Christianity. It was drilled into my theology that Catholics weren’t really Christians and anyone who had not “asked Jesus into their heart” were probably (definitely) going to spend an eternity suffering in the fires of hell. In junior high and high school, we were encouraged to bring our “unsaved” friends to evangelical crusades and expose them to Christianity. The more students we got into church on Sunday mornings, Wednesday nights, and all the events in between, the better. Quantity was of the utmost importance; never mind the quality. Jesus was all about entertainment.

I was subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) influenced to have a conservative ideology of the world … both in religion and politics. I can remember sermons in high school and college condemning homosexuals, abortion, and President Clinton. We needed to “take America back for Jesus.” (Whatever the fuck that means.)

In college, things got even worse … for awhile. 9/11 occurred one week before I moved on campus at a conservative Christian college. People all over the country (and at my university) were afraid and throwing their faith behind God and country, as embodied by President Bush. Americans were angry and wanted revenge on the Muslim extremists who had destroyed the World Trade Center, killed thousands of civilians, and attacked (as we were told) our freedoms. They just couldn’t stand our liberty and freedom. (I’m sure that’s the only reason they aren’t fond of us.)

I had been so brainwashed by my environment, by the constant media scare-tactics, and by the conservative Christian belief in the End Times being upon us (thanks Left Behind), that I was completely supportive of a US-led invasion of Iraq to topple Saddam Hussein and liberate the Iraqi people. (Because if there’s one thing the Iraqi people needed, it was definitely another war.) During the summer of 2003, when things began to come apart in the Middle East and at home, my mind began to rebel against the conservative cocoon I had been trapped inside for so many years.

I spent my junior year of college living in Europe attending real liberal arts colleges. These were universities where people could actually think, learn, and understand the world in an intellectual environment without the ever-present tinge of religious fundamentalism. I read a few books by Michael Moore and suddenly realized that I agreed with basically all of his arguments. Not only was I probably a Democrat, but I was a complete liberal. Shit. My parents were going to kill me.

It was also during this time that I nearly gave up belief in the entire idea of Christianity. The only thing that sustained me was that I had always been drawn to Jesus and His message. And then I was attracted to the Catholic faith. I had a wonderful professor in college who was Catholic and while living in Rome, I was surrounded by the beauty of the Catholic Church. I began learning about its history, its spirituality, and its advancement of social justice. The churches I had previously been exposed to had only a brief stint of history on the world stage, a McDonaldized spirituality, and no interest in social justice.

I became Catholic in 2006. Part of me regrets it. Part of me is ecstatic that I am no longer Protestant. And most of me has come to realize that it doesn’t really matter.

I follow the teachings of Jesus and I believe that if you truly follow them, you simply live for love. Loving God and loving people. All people. I believe that Jesus was the unique Son of God, but I don’t think it’s requisite to “get into heaven” to believe that. I think He showed people how to live, and if you follow that example, you’re in whether you believe the right doctrine about Him or not.

I truly believe that if a person were to really follow His teachings, their life would be incompatible with what the right-wing conservative (by American standards) Christianity and politics teach. Although Jesus never intended to set up a political system, I think socialism would be pretty attractive to Him with the whole ideology of taking care of everybody’s basic needs. (i.e. health care, education, community involvement, etc.) He wouldn’t be locking Himself away in a beautifully manicured $3.5 million home with undocumented Mexican gardeners and housekeepers whilst driving His Hummer down the street to shop at Wal-Mart. I’m certain that capitalism (particularly the American model of the past two years) would be abhorrent to Him and He would simply choose not to participate in such a corrupt system that exploits the weak for the benefit of the rich and powerful.

But I digress. So where am I today?

While I still consider a part of me to be Catholic, I don’t attend Mass every week. Sometimes I attend a Catholic church and sometimes I go to an Episcopalian one. Sometimes I just read a book about Jesus. And sometimes I just watch “Jesus Christ Superstar.” (The 1973 version, of course.) I also believe that anything that is spiritually beautiful is beneficial. So I practice Eastern meditation and yoga. I like to learn about astrology, dream interpretation, and Tarot. Unlocking the human subconscious can only strengthen a person’s spirituality, and how could that ever be a negative thing?

I didn’t attend a Catholic church this year during Holy Week. I was too disgusted by what had come out about the deviousness of the highest levels of the Catholic hierarchy. (I don’t think Jesus is too pleased about what’s happened either.) It’s when shit like this happens that people need to remember that the Church (and any other spiritual organization) is made up of the people and not those who lead it. We need a spiritual revolution. The Church isn’t a democracy, but perhaps it should be.