When left to my own devices, I’m somewhat of a recluse. After slinging lattes and espressos for a few hours, all I want to do is go home, curl up in bed, and amuse myself with movies, books, or the Internet. I can imagine myself being quirky and social and outgoing, but I have to deal with the fact that I have an introverted personality. I’m also terribly self-conscious about my appearance. Although nearly everyone tells me how beautiful I am, I also struggle with my weight. It’s difficult to think of myself as beautiful, or even pretty, when I’m so aware of the extra poundage. I can’t get away with wearing the kinds of clothes I want: loose, hippie clothing makes me look pregnant and tight, sleek styles simply accentuate the wrong curves. My self-consciousness has kept me from fully participating in the bohemian experience of an open, carefree, and artistic lifestyle.
I’m terrified of turning this blog into a diet, exercise, and weight loss seminar, so I’ll limit the theme of a healthy weight to only a few entries. I feel as though I cannot fully enter into an open and artistic life until I feel comfortable in my own skin. I can’t be fully free until I love the way I look and feel. And being bohemian is all about freedom. Freedom to live, love, and experience beauty in all of its facets.
My challenge to myself is to do something bohemian every day, whether it be going out into the city or sometimes staying at home to practice some sort of revolutionary artistry. Read in a coffee shop. Go to a bar on ladies night. Practice music on my guitar. Drink a bottle of wine in a public park at night (surreptitiously, of course). Go see an old silent film. Shop at a vintage boutique. Go perform some music on the street downtown. Learn to cook Indian food. Go for a walk in a new part of town. I can do this in spite of feeling self-conscious about myself because I believe that anything and everything is possible to experience beauty in this life.
No comments:
Post a Comment